"And, best of all, it’s comforting that you don’t have to do the dishes."

These days, some of the trendies go for miniaturized burgers or those dandified with exotic cheeses, mushrooms, red onions, salsa and jalapenos.

But a burger needs to stand alone on judgment day, when teeth meets meat. Subsequently, Milwaukee burger fans argue for hours about their favorite drive-ins, whether favoring the patties at Gilles Frozen Custard or the Wisconsin-based Culver’s with its signature ButterBurger. Both the platter-sized presentations at Kopp’s and White Castle sliders also have adherents.

Burgers at Solly’s Grille, the North Shore Bistro, Ted’s Ice Cream, Elsa’s on the Park, Derry Hegarty’s and numerous other joints also jostle for the hamburger crown. Sobelman’s, hidden deep in the Menomonee Valley factory district, is admittedly among the hierarchy with its one-third pound of Black Angus beef fried to perfection. As Popeye’s burger-mania friend Wimpy could assert, "Gotta luv ’em all."

Chicken and cheese please

For grilled cheese, another comfort staple, there is no better place to go other than to the Wisconsin food products building at the Wisconsin State Fair. Savvy eaters get three for $5 with a coupon from the back of the fair program, dished up by the fair’s Dairy Promotion Board. According to Patrice Harris, the fair’s communications director (and a secret State Fair buffalo burrito fan), 55,000 of the sandwiches were served this year.

Chicken is another all-time favorite. Greater Milwaukee fowl fanciers head to Maxie’s Southern Comfort, which offers mouth-watering choices of grilled, barbecued, fried or blackened birds, as well as in po-boys or smothered. Chicken Fried Tuesdays have become a popular promo, says Maxie’s manager Sal Anschuetz. Executive chef Joe Muench, formerly of Eddie Martini’s, also has a Chicken Fried Chicken with Southern style tasso gravy, a highly seasoned sauce with elements of pork, bacon, garlic and loads of herbs.

Soul foods

For comfort with soul, the Perkins Family Restaurant has been dishing out helpings of down-home, secret recipe goodies for nearly four decades.

Catfish (fried or grilled to order) is the most popular menu item, followed by baked chicken and dressing. Longtime staples remain sides of black-eyed peas, sweet potatoes, collard greens and cornbread, followed by peach cobbler or coconut pineapple cake. Hilda Perkins, who founded the restaurant with her late husband, Will Sr., still drops by daily to check on son Will Jr., and his wife, Cherry, who now run the establishment. "She wants to be sure it’s done right," asserts the younger Perkins.

Duels could be fought over the city’s best barbecue title, yet Speed Queen Bar-B-Q is always a taste-test finalist. This pick-up-and-go place is home to Milwaukee’s most famous barbecue sandwiches. Ribs ’n sauce also rule at Saz’s, Lake City, Pitch’s, Brew City and other notables where a bibbed and 10-napkin dinner is standard.

Real Chili, celebrating its 75th anniversary this year, is another local favorite. Packed with spaghetti and beans, or dazzled up with cheese and onions, a husky bowl of chili makes life worth living. Several visiting Las Vegas show girls, performing in a Mardi Gras revue at Potawatomi Bingo Casino during this past winter’s coldest days, made a point of hanging out between shows at the Real Chili on East Wells Street. They were grateful to put aside their feathers for a bit and warm up with Milwaukee’s finest.

And don’t miss the Sunday night buffet at Potawatomi Bingo Casino. "Sunday Supper" gives you a taste of authentic Southern delicacies, such as spicy glazed barbecue pork ribs, Southern fried chicken and Chef Monroe’s famous cornmeal breaded catfish. Of course, Dream Dance’s Amish Chicken and Slow Braised B.B.Q. Pork hanker to those in need of comfort, as well.

To warm your soul on the Northshore, try Libby Montana’s Cooky’s Meatloaf or the restaurant’s famous Pot Pie, a rotating special with a new tummy-filling flavor each week.

Ethnic eats

Eating such comfort foods are the edible cushions to fall back on during stressful times. Since he’s on the road so much, Milwaukee Brewers’ General Manager Doug Melvin appreciates anything home cooked but Hispanic food constitutes a home run for him. Melvin went the gamut during this year’s hectic National League Central race, chowing down tacos, enchiladas, quesadillas and other lip-smacking South-of-the-Border wonders.

The smart Mexican food fan will find such goodies and a lot more temptations at the nonpretentious but always satisfying Mercado El Rey lunch counter.

"Hearty" and "soul-satisfying" are two adjectives best describing the small dining area in the South Side store, a community hub. Among the regulars is Rico Castillo, a local restaurant manager and chef, who — knowing both quality and comfort — eats there two to three times a week when off duty.

A good chef understands his customers and caters to their culinary wishes.

Subsequently, Jack McNeir, the Italian Community Center’s executive chef, knows his gnocchi. "Pasta and risotto are among our most popular menu items," he points out, adding that any meal with veal, particularly a scaloppini, earns delighted murmurs from visiting mommas and the papas.

It’s obvious that McNeir’s Scots-Irish background hasn’t prevented him from accommodating an Italian clientele that demands a lot from a rigatoni. Yet when pressed, McNeir admits to being a stew guy. Hefty servings of his mom’s hearty concoctions, made either with lamb or beef, helped him make it through Wisconsin’s winters as a youngster.

Marvelously delicious handmade beef sausages called chevapchichi or burek, whether beef, cheese or spinach, are best served at Branko Radicevic’s Three Brothers Bar & Restaurant near the lake. For comfort food must be unhurriedly eaten with friends seated around one of the old tables, secreted in a lamp-lit corner at this South Side restaurant. Don’t forget the slivovitz, Serbian plum brandy, as a soothing digestif. This is the slow food movement at its best where comfort means ambiance, too.

In the heat of battle, Shakespeare’s Richard III cried out, "Chocolate pudding, chocolate pudding, my kingdom for chocolate pudding." Or was he calling for fried rice, shish kebob, chicken subgum, hopple-popple, spanakopita, reuben, kielbasa or kimchi. He certainly wasn’t hollering for a low-calorie plate. Mom wouldn’t have it any other way.