Crossroads members engage the residents of Sithobela: Lauren McMillen hands a bag to some children.

In Swaziland, Africa, young children learn about HIV/AIDS as if it were a storybook rhyme or any other subject in school. They even sing about this deadly virus, which has claimed the lives of virtually a generation of mothers and fathers there, and affected the lives of countless others.

Heidi Rowley, a former school psychologist from Cedarburg, saw this firsthand when she traveled to Sithobela, Swaziland, last year with a group whose members’ specialties ranged from teacher to pastor to accountant — all of whom are members of Crossroads Presbyterian Church in Mequon.

"As we watched these children perform a cultural dance in traditional clothing, we clapped and thought it was wonderful," Rowley recalls.

"When we asked our World Vision leader what they were singing, she gave us the translation — ‘If you don’t behave, you’ll get AIDS,’" she says. "We were shocked to learn the extent to which AIDS permeates everything there."

In Sithobela, mud-stick huts dot the dirt roads, running water and electricity are rare, and aging grandparents walk an hour to the local river to get drinking water for their grandchildren — the same river the cows use. Farming is the way of life for most families, but the region is in a four-year drought and resources are scarce.

The country of Swaziland, surrounded by South Africa and Mozambique, has the highest rate of HIV infection in the world. An estimated one in three adults tests positive for HIV, and two out of every five pregnant women are HIV-positive.

Cedarburg’s Heidi Rowley holds a baby during a Crossroads Presbyterian Church mission trip to Sithobela, Swaziland.

"In the midst of such dire circumstances, however, we saw large, loving families caring for one another," says Lauren McMillen, who has worked as an AIDS prevention expert with the American Red Cross. "We saw grandparents taking care of their grandchildren without question, and neighbors doing the same for neighbors. They have family homesteads, a tight-knit community, an extended family of love and support that is a real blessing to them."

Rowley and McMillen joined Crossroads pastor Jeff Lincicome, church members Bonnie and Bob Patton and Jim Plamann, along with others from Minnesota and Florida, to make the trip through World Vision, a Christian relief and development organization dedicated to helping children worldwide by alleviating the causes of poverty.

Out of the suburbs

Families at Crossroads sponsor more than 160 children in Sithobela, and this group went as ambassadors of the church with a very specific goal in mind. "We wanted to build relationships — to better know where God is calling us and how we can be supportive," Lincicome says. "For me personally, I also wanted to get out of the suburbs and take a hard look at what the world has to deal with."

"We went with the goal of expanding our knowledge of the AIDS pandemic and to gain a better understanding of how we can make a difference in a world outside our own frame of reference," McMillen says.

Crossroads pastor Jeff Lincicome shows a Polaroid he has taken of the children.

"We found that the amount people are spending through World Vision to help these children — $35 a month — is truly making a difference. We saw drill holes for wells and pumps to provide families with safe water. We saw chickens and goats for meat and income, and we saw feeding stations that provide a daily meal to many local children ­— very hopeful, concrete evidence that help is reaching them."

Bonnie Patton was fascinated to see where her sponsorship dollars were going. "My initial draw was to see my sponsored girl — I didn’t know what to expect beyond that," Patton admits. "But what I found was so much more than I imagined — much more widespread. It’s a very broad, big-picture approach toward self-sufficiency."

World Vision’s goal is to help a community achieve self-sustainability within 15 years. The organization works alongside families to teach them skills, such as agricultural techniques to help increase their harvests, so those families can better provide for their children. What’s more, nearly every World Vision leader worldwide is indigenous to the region. The focus is to both meet immediate needs and to promote lasting changes that will strengthen each community and move families toward self-reliance.

In reality, what did this truly look like? The group learned that sponsorship money goes to helping the whole community in the areas of water and sanitation, food security, education, health care, economic development, AIDS prevention and spiritual development. Extras for sponsored children include blankets, mattresses, fruit trees, chickens and fees for education.

Bonnie Patton colors with a woman and child.

"My strongest impression was seeing the faith in action through the work World Vision is doing — their efforts will truly help build a brighter future for the children of Sithobela," McMillen says. "This was astounding and filled us with hope."

Joyous gatherings

Throughout their two-week mission, the group took part in morning prayer meetings. The Sunday worship services were loud, joyous, four-hour gatherings in intense heat, and without air-conditioning. "The amazing part was that the children were so well-behaved," Rowley says. "They gave up their chairs for adults without being asked, sat with their legs straight out on the concrete floor through hours of singing and praying, and didn’t complain at all.

"It wasn’t reasonable to expect them to behave like that, but they did," she says. "It was incredibly humbling."

Bob Patton, a former Homestead High School math teacher, remembers seeing only one toy during the entire trip. "I saw one hand-made car made out of metal tubes and parts," he recalls. "We found a few balls here and there, but nothing much else. At one point, members of our group brought five matchbox cars to a group of six children. The kids zoomed the cars all over the concrete floor, making car noises and having a ball."

"They looked and sounded very similar to how kids here would look and sound while playing with matchbox cars — minus the fighting," Rowley says. "Gratitude was written all over their faces as they played."

Gratitude was a thread woven through every moment of the group’s two-week visit. "We brought a soccer ball for our sponsored boy, and I was devastated to find it had a leak," says Rowley. "But Andiswa didn’t care. We just received a picture from him with the ball — he keeps using it, pumping it up and using it again."

Making connections

Sponsoring these children has been bonding for the families who sponsor them, as well as the community of Crossroads Presbyterian as a whole, says Lincicome. "We have connected in a way we hadn’t before. The problem is so immense, but we all feel this is one thing we can do. It feels like we can make a difference here."

Rowley concurs. "My personal goal in traveling to Sithobela was to feel relevant to something outside my own world," she says. "I love my family and my community, but I wanted to feel connected to something bigger, too. I wanted to expand my vision and work toward something greater than myself."

Adds Bonnie Patton: "For a long time, I have wanted to do something about AIDS. Then, we made these visits and I saw something very interesting — when we took Polaroid pictures of the children, their faces just lit up. It dawned on me how important it is to the mothers and grandparents that we show their pictures to our friends back home. They want their stories told, their faces shown — a validation of their life, in some way.

"And I realized," she says, "that we need to be willing to tell their stories."

"We have so much to learn from these people," Plamann says. "I feel it’s my responsibility to offer resources to help them, and yet we need to learn the lessons they have to teach us. Their faith is so much better than I expected in such harsh circumstances. It was refreshing, hopeful, joyful. One of my best memories is that the children were always singing."

Rowley says she is stunned that hope exists at all in Sithobela, amidst such devastation and unimaginable challenges. The group visited one family whose mother had just recently died, leaving behind five young children and an 18-year-old daughter to care for them all. "This family was far from joyful — their grief was overwhelming, and our gifts elicited no smiles. We didn’t feel like we were able to offer any real comfort," she says. "We feel called to action and are hopeful because we have something specific that we can offer to the people here."

The HIV/AIDS pandemic — and the mass devastation it is leaving in its wake — is a huge burden for these people to carry, Lincicome says. "I think we realized that we can’t carry their burden for them," he says, "but we can definitely help them shoulder it."