may have to Ďmake nice,í even if you donít want friends
husband and I moved to Florida 30 years ago and raised our children here. Some
friends recently retired and moved to our area. Florida is a large state, and
we were surprised that both of these couples (who donít know each other)
chose to purchase homes within a 20-mile radius of us. My husband and I are
being pressured to resume these friendships, but frankly, we are not
interested. When these couples email, I keep making excuses, and I donít
answer the phone when they call.
Itís been months, and none of them has figured it out.
One of these women was a childhood friend, but she is boastful and competitive,
and her husband is worse. I donít have it in me to level with them. How can
we stop them from calling without creating hurt feelings? ó Lynn in Sunny
Florida Dear Sunny: Has
it occurred to you that these couples may have moved to this location because
they thought they had at least one friend in the area? It means they will
persist until they develop new friends who occupy their time. If you are likely
to run into them at shops and social events, it might be in your best interests
to allow a limited friendship so you are on speaking terms. That means you
answer every fifth call or email and arrange a social engagement every few
months. As they become more acclimated to
their new digs, you can cut back until you reach the amount of contact you can
handle. By then, your absence will be less important to them.
Dear Annie: My boyfriend
will be 67 in two weeks, and for the third year in a row, I will probably watch
his heart break because his90-year-old mother will
not acknowledge his birthday.
He has done nothing to make her feel this way. She lives in our city, but he
has not seen her in more than three years. I am so afraid she will pass on
before they reconcile. What would cause a woman to have no feelings for her own
son? ó Baffled in Indianapolis Dear
Baffled: We donít know,
but if they havenít seen each other since she was 87, there is a possibility
of a decline in her mental faculties. Did she acknowledge his birthday before?
Was she OK the last time he saw her? Is there a sibling, relative or friend who
could intercede on his behalf ?
Some children call their parents on their own birthday to thank the parents for
giving birth to them. Your boyfriend
might try this to see whether it breaks the ice. But if nothing works, do
something for his birthday that he enjoys and that will take his mind off of
Dear Annie: Youíve
printed a lot of letters about stores carrying larger sizes.
I wear a 3X. I live in a rural area, and there are no plussize stores. I would
love to drop some pounds, but due to health problems, I canít walk, and my
medications tend to make me gain even though I try to eat very little. Iíve
tried online shopping, but the sizes are not standard.
I want my local stores to carry my size. I would like to have more than four
tops in my weekly rotation and a nightgown that doesnít make me feel like my
grandmother ó Trying To Fit Dear
Trying: We cannot force the
stores near you to carry your size. Your best bet is to shop online. There are
many places that carry your size, and if things donít fit, you can return
Some trial and error may be necessary, but eventually, you will find an online
shop that suits you.
Dear Readers: Be sure to
set your clocks forward one hour before going to bed tonight.