New Berlin, Waukesha and others would love to get Lake Michigan water because many of the wells in those communities have tested high for radium levels. Cleaning them up is very expensive. There’s a problem. The Sunnyslope hill (about 14000 West) is the dividing line of the Great Lakes basin. Groundwater to the east of the hill has Lake Michigan as its source but not the water on the west side of the hill. That’s critical because a treaty signed by the United States and Canada limits water use to the basin.

But that standard is rigged to favor Michigan. The ENTIRE STATE is in the basin! Lansing, Mich., in the middle of the state and 125 miles from the nearest Great Lake, is allowed to tap water from the lakes system, but New Berlin, 15 miles from Lake Michigan, cannot. It’s an absurd standard. Even Upper Michigan is entirely within the Great Lakes basin.

The reasons for this have to do with the topography of the area and the elevation below sea level. But the "Basin Standard" is a ridiculous way of deciding who can use the water. States like Wisconsin and Illinois, which spend a fortune on the Great Lakes, get far less water than Michigan solely because of Michigan’s sea level and drainage patterns. If Michigan wants to monopolize all the water, it should have to pay more to care for the water.

It is likely that Gov. Doyle and the Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources will back New Berlin’s request because they realize how badly Wisconsin is being shafted in the water wars. The ultimate decision will be made by federal courts. In the meantime, New Berlin residents are stuck with the irony that while many of them can’t use lake Michigan water, all of them are compelled (because of forced membership in the Milwaukee sewer district) to send all of their water back to Lake Michigan.

A far more reasonable standard would be to base a state’s ability to use Great Lakes water on the amount of shoreline it has on one of the lakes. This would still give Michigan the most water of all (because Lakes Huron, Superior and Michigan all border it). Unfortunately, Wisconsin’s two U.S. senators, Herb Kohl and Russ Feingold, have virtually no clout, and getting a more reasonable standard is likely to be politically impossible.

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Communities all over the region are on a fee binge. In an attempt to make their property taxes appear to be artificially low, they are imposing mandatory fees on the same property owners. Menomonee Falls, for example, just imposed a staggering $85 garbage fee. In addition to allowing local bureaucrats to play shell games by collecting taxes without calling them taxes, the fees have the effect of shifting a greater portion of the tax burden to owners of less expensive properties. In Menomonee Falls, for example, by taking garbage service off of property taxes and switched to a flat fee, the owner of $750,000 home will pay the same amount as the owner of a $130,000 bungalow.

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Don’t be surprised if some state Assembly Republicans break party ranks and align themselves with Gov. Doyle when he goes on his own tax and fee binge in 2007. They’ll be auditioning for state jobs. Now that Republicans hold only a 52-47 Assembly edge, Doyle will likely steal a page from Tommy Thompson’s playbook and start appointing Republican members to state jobs. If only three of these Republicans quit their legislative posts and are replaced by Democrats in special elections, the Democrats will take control of the Assembly (they already have the state Senate).

Neenah’s Dean Kaufert, a Republican, is almost certain to be given a top Doyle job within a few weeks. His district is one with a lot of Democratic voters. (It makes no sense for Doyle to appoint a legislator from a district the Republicans are likely to hold in a new election.) Another trick up the Doyle sleeve will be to convince a big-money special interest to offer a high-paying job to one of these Republicans on the condition the Assembly seat is given up. I’m sure Doyle’s ever-generous Potawatomi friends could always use another lobbyist.

Thompson did this a couple of times with Democratic members of the state Senate. If Doyle is able to pull it off, it will mean both houses of the Legislature will be in his pocket and he will be able to pass literally any bill he wants.

Shudders.

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Prediction: University of Wisconsin-Whitewater will upset perennial winner Mount Union on Saturday for the Division III college football championship, sending Coach Bob Berezowitz out in Al McGuire style by winning a national title in his final game.

(Mark Belling is the host of a daily WISN radio talk show and a Sunday television show. His column runs Wednesdays in The Freeman.)