THE BACKGROUND: The Legislature and governor a few years ago created a tax on cell phones, purportedly to fund equipment upgrades to allow 911 call centers to locate calls coming in from cell phones. The tax, ranging between $5 and $9 per year, was to expire in late 2008, after all of the equipment upgrades had been made.

THE PLOT: But in Wisconsin, there’s nothing so permanent as a temporary tax. Mayors of Wisconsin cities not only don’t want the phone tax to expire, they want to grab all the money. And, instead of letting the tax die, they want to expand and increase it. They want to pass it right now and bury it in the bill that will address the state’s current budget shortfall.

THE PROPOSAL: Milwaukee Mayor Tom Barrett wants to raise the phone fee to $12 a phone next year and $18 a year by 2010. The money would go to Wisconsin cities, villages and towns. Barrett’s plan expands the tax to cover not only cell phones but ALL telephone land lines.

THE MOTIVATION: For Barrett and the other mayors, this is an almost perfect tax. The state will collect on phone bills nobody reads. The cities will get the money without the blame. And there’s a lot of money here. A family with three kids (that’s five cell phones), a fax machine, a home phone and a dial-up Internet connection can be hit with eight separate taxes. At $18 a year, that’s $144! Imagine the cost for businesses with a zillion lines.

WDWD: This stands for what Doyle will do. There is absolutely zero chance Wisconsin Gov. Jim Doyle will agree to a major new tax and let somebody else get all the money. Doyle will instead endorse the idea, but divert half the money to state government.

WHO CAN STOP THIS: That would be you. The reason taxes keep going up in Wisconsin is because the public keeps re-electing tax hikers. But things may be changing. Doyle’s proposed hospital tax is dying because a lot of Wisconsinites called their lawmakers to oppose it and state Republicans stood firm and refused to back it. The same thing can happen here.

WHY THIS IS IMPORTANT: Now that everybody knows Wisconsin is a tax hell, politicians need to become creative in inventing new ways to tax a wary public. The more hidden the tax is, the more attractive it will be. Already many communities (Waukesha and Milwaukee are the leaders) are creating new "fees" that are assessed on property owners but not included in the actual property tax rate. The phone tax is an enhancement because the bills won’t even be sent out by the cities or even the state. The phone companies will be forced to do it and will no doubt get most of the blame.

APPROPRIATE MUSICAL REFERENCE: "If you drive a car, I’ll tax the street. If you try to sit, I’ll tax the seat. If you get too cold, I’ll tax the heat. If you take a walk, I’ll tax your feet. I’m the taxman and you’re working for no one but me."

- George Harrison, "Taxman"

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Jane Bradley Pettit is surely proud of her kids. David and Lynde Uihlein killed the misguided attempt to take the Bradley family name off Milwaukee’s Bradley Center by making it clear the family would consider it an insult to their mother’s memory. Since the late Jane came up with the money to build the arena, Lynde and David had every right to take umbrage.

The Uihleins rightly pointed out the $3 million to $4 million per year the naming rights might have brought doesn’t even begin to address the financial needs of the Bradley Center. Lacking a comprehensive plan to generate the approximately $150 million to do the job right, the sale of the naming rights is pointless.

The real problem here is that Milwaukee has way too many committees and agencies running entertainment facilities. The worst is the convention center authority run by Chairman Franklyn Gimbel. It has no conventions and the $50 million spent on the Milwaukee Theatre is wasted on a building that never has tenants. Until Gimbel is finally removed, it’s hard to see any comprehensive planning for the neighboring Bradley Center.

Gimbel, who like close pal Gary Grunau treats public service as a way primarily to advance his own selfish interests, was initially appointed by Tommy Thompson but kept on by Jim Doyle. No one - not Barrett, Milwaukee County Executive Scott Walker, Doyle or Bucks owner Herb Kohl - has stood up to Gimbel and tried to stop his one-man campaign to screw up Milwaukee. Maybe the Uihleins are willing.

(Mark Belling is the host of a daily WISN radio talk show. His column runs Wednesdays in The Freeman.)