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This
month,
Debralee Lorenzana
filed a lawsuit against Citibank alleging that she was
terminated from her job as a teller for wearing
turtlenecks, wrap dresses, and pencil skirts.
What?
Come again?
Executives
at the banking giant called her tailored clothing
"too distracting," she said. Lorenzana, who is
attractive in a very
Eva Mendes
way, certainly looks sexy in photos posted on the
New York Daily News
website, but her clothing fits just fine.
I can't
help but sympathize because, as a curvy girl myself, I
know how hard it is to find clothing that suits my body.
And then if I do, certain people always feel the need to
judge. Should she really be wearing that? I'm not sure
if that's appropriate.
Why is it
that when women fill out their brassieres, pencil
skirts, turtlenecks — even skinny jeans — it gives
people pause?
It's as
if there's one standard for the skinny girls and another
— a more boxy and conservative one — for the rest of
us.
By now
you may have seen the "controversial"
commercial for bras sold at
Charming Shoppes'
Lane Bryant
that aired in May during episodes of "American
Idol." It features a voluptuous woman — with a
perfectly flat stomach — getting dressed for a lunch
date. She confidently slips a trenchcoat (instead of a
dress) over a lacy red bra and panty set and struts out.
Both Fox
and
ABC
initially refused to air the advertisements, first
stating there was too much cleavage. Then Fox said it
would run a version with the breast shots edited out.
I'm
sorry. How do you sell a bra without showing cleavage?
That's like showing a skirt without legs, a belt without
a waist, glasses without eyes. How else might we see how
a bra fits?
We've
certainly sanctioned models entering our home showing
far more skin in Victoria's Secret TV spots. So the
question remains: Is cleavage on a size 2 model with
(probably fake) double D's more acceptable than a
fleshier woman sporting her own boobs?
"What's
frustrating is that we try to teach our kids that it's
OK to be curvier, vs. Victoria's Secret-thin, and
society tells them something else," said
Erica Atwood
, a 35-year-old 36DD who works for
Philadelphia
Mayor
Michael Nutter
. "Not to mention, I don't know any woman who looks
like that, and if I did, I'd want to feed them."
Amen to
that.
The thing
is, this isn't about round women being jealous of skinny
women. And the problem is deeper than designers such as
Ralph Lauren
using emaciated models on their runways, and more
complicated than
Urban Outfitters'
most recent politically incorrect fashion blunder — a
V-neck T-shirt with the words "Eat Less"
emblazoned across the chest. (The company pulled the
shirt last week.)
This is
about what's not there — balance.
The lack
of authentic images in fashion has done more than leave
behind a trail of frustrated shoppers. The absence of
real women on the pages of magazines or on your
flat-screen TV has become so commonplace that television
executives assume that 44D cleavage on a size 2 model is
what we all like to see, that we all agree real women
aren't good enough for public consumption.
If we do
get the rare chance to see real women, we hear the
message that flesh is bad — well, fat flesh, anyway.
In fact, combined with cleavage, it's not appropriate
for children. (As part of the negotiations with
Bensalem, Pa.
-based
Charming Shoppes
, both Fox and
ABC
offered to air the ad after
9 p.m.
, not prime family viewing time.)
The
message gets repeated so many times, we believe it.
In
August, there was a hue and cry about a photo in
Glamour magazine
of a model who had fat on her back. Instead of embracing
her and her imperfections, some readers were repulsed.
Seems as if we just don't like ourselves anymore.
In the
case of Lorenzana, women at her office were anonymously
quoted as saying, "She should know better,"
while the men said on the record that they would go out
of their way to catch glimpses of her.
It all
comes down to a double standard in which we all,
unfortunately, participate.
"Omission
suggests that there is only one acceptable body
type," said Carolyn Rammel, executive director of A
Chance to Heal, a
Jenkintown
-based nonprofit that aims to stop eating disorders.
"The
reality is there is a huge spectrum of bodies, and to
suggest there is one type does harm."
As in: As
long as she looks like a Victoria's Secret model,
anything goes. That leaves the rest of us poorly
represented, especially when a breakout commercial gets
banned for breast exposure.
"
Lane Bryant
is part of the fashion industry and they should have the
same rights as other underwear companies," said
Jene Luciani
, author of "The Bra Book," which addresses
issues centered on self-esteem.
"And
until that changes, until we can see real women, it's
never going to change."
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