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In
this Sept. 2, 2011, photo John Hamann poses with a copy of an
"X-Men" movie in the backyard of his
Milwaukee
home. A man who always saw him walking the same route started a
Facebook fan page, nicknaming Hamann "Milverine" because
of his resemblance to the Wolverine from the comic book and movie.
The page has amassed more than 2,500 followers who post the
whereabouts and photos of Hamann.
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MADISON - Not all of the wacky news in
Wisconsin happened under the Capitol dome this year.
But with so much going on in and around the
Capitol in 2011 — from balloon popping state workers to alleged fisticuffs
between Supreme Court justices — the non-political goofy news got short
shrift.
It's time to rectify that.
Let's put aside the multiple recalls,
vuvuzela-blowing protesters, and fighting court justices for just a minute
to remember werewolf sex, shirtless wanderers who look like super heroes and
the consumption of 25,000 Big Macs.
First, the werewolf.
Milwaukee police arrested a 22-year-old woman
after an 18-year-old man endured 300 puncture wounds following a sexual
encounter gone wrong. The man told police he traveled from Phoenix to
Milwaukee to meet up with the woman who, apparently, was into channeling
werewolf spirits for sexual gratification.
Too bad the Milverine wasn't around to
intervene.
John Hamann, an opera-loving cage-fighter,
found himself the object of a devoted following for his tendency to walk
around Milwaukee shirtless. Oh, and he also looks a lot like the comic book
super hero Wolverine. Hence his nickname, Milverine.
His Facebook page had nearly 4,000 fans by
December, but he was nonplussed by his likeness to Hugh Jackman, the actor
who portrays the Wolverine character in the X-Men movies.
"He's a phony movie actor, but I'm the
real deal, you know?" Hamann said.
Another real deal is retired Wisconsin prison
guard Don Gorske who downed his 25,000th Big Mac in 2011. He ate his first
one 39 years earlier and said he has no plans of stopping anytime soon.
"I plan on eating Big Macs until I
die," he said.
Alas, 2011 wasn't all about consumption. As
usual, there were a fair number of criminals whose exploits just didn't seem
to make sense.
In what may go down as one of the most
unforgivable crimes in a state known for its love of malted beverages, a
32-year-old man used a metal pipe to smash a truckload of beer awaiting
delivery in Milwaukee. Police said the attacker scolded the deliveryman for
bringing what he called poison into his neighborhood.
Another confusing crime happened in Ashland
where a thief wanted to disrobe a judge. The perpetrator broke into the
local courthouse, passed up computers, cash and antique furniture, and
absconded with the judge's robe. Police didn't know the motive.
Police also tried to get to the root of a
crime in Madison, where a man allegedly poisoned his neighbor's tree by
pouring a deadly chemical onto a root that was in his yard.
Also in Madison, a more kindly crook gave
back a bottle of tequila after the homeowner whose house he had just robbed
hit him on the head with a knife sharpener. Police said the robber did get
away with a cellphone.
A woman expressed her road rage to the wrong
person in Milwaukee County: the sheriff.
The woman was in a left turn lane and tried
to cut off the sheriff's unmarked vehicle, which was in the other lane going
straight. As she sped past, she flipped the sheriff the bird. He wasn't
amused and the woman was cited for operating with a suspended license and
reckless driving. Oh, she was also arrested on a warrant for operating with
a suspended license.
The economy remained tough all over in 2011,
even for little kids trying to run a lemonade stand.
An Appleton police officer shut down the
stand being run by a 10-year-old and 9-year-old sisters, telling the young
entrepreneurs that their sales were prohibited by city ordinance.
Embarrassed by an avalanche of outrage after the story hit the news, police
later apologized to the family and promised it would never happen again.
This past year wasn't all about scofflaws.
When a stranger stopped to help Sara Berg
change a blown tire on Interstate 94 outside of Menomonie, Berg got the
chance to repay the favor when she used CPR to help save the stranger's life
minutes later after he went into cardiac arrest. Berg, who is a nursing
assistant, pulled over when she saw the stranger's wife waving her hands for
help.
"I 100 percent believe God had a huge
hand in it," Berg said.
The Grim Reaper — sporting a foam
cheesehead hat and warning about the dangers of eating cheese — reared its
ghastly visage on a billboard in Green Bay this year, just in time for
football season.
But cheeseheads far and near would have none
of it. Well, at least the Wisconsin company that makes the cheesehead hats
would have none it. After it raised complaints, the physicians' group that
sponsored the billboard blacked out the image of the hat.
Cheese wasn't the only food under attack this
year. A bill in the Legislature was introduced to repeal a state law
intended to protect Wisconsin's dairy industry by making it illegal for
restaurants to serve margarine as a replacement for butter.
Even though the 44-year-old law has become
marginalized over the years and exists mainly as a novelty item — it's
reprinted on T-shirts sold by the Historical Society — the bill wasn't
greased enough to slip through the Legislature and it remained clogged in
the arteries of the system at year's end.
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