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Leanne,
left, and husband Fred Miller show the X-rays taken
after his neck surgery in Modesto, California. Fred
nearly lost his life, breaking his neck in a boogie
boarding accident a year ago during a Pismo Beach
vacation with his family.
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MODESTO,
Calif. - The fog had burned off, the sand at Pismo Beach,
Calif., was beginning to sizzle and Modesto Realtor Fred
Miller finally was hot enough to join his teenage daughters
in the surf.
It was July
25, 2007, the second day in the family's annual weeklong
pilgrimage to Pismo, a trip they had been taking for nearly
20 years. Miller's wife, Leanne, stayed on the beach while
Miller and his brother-in-law, Phil Morino of Modesto,
Calif., took their boogie boards into the ocean. Two of the
Millers' daughters, Natalie and Jacqueline, then 17 and 19,
had been surfing for a few hours.
"The
waves looked interesting in that they were larger and
thicker than normal," said Miller, who lived near the
ocean for about half of his 61 years. "We had heard it
was because of a storm down south.
"I went
out about 80 yards. It gets deep very gradually, and I was
in water about shoulder deep. I caught my first wave and had
a great ride for about 60 yards. I went back out. I realized
I was farther out than the surfers and other boogie boards,
bobbing up and down in my black wet suit. I began thinking,
if any great whites (sharks) come in here, which they do,
I'm going to be the first thing they see.
"So I
had just moved in closer to shore about 20 yards, but was
still one of the farthest out. I see a big wave I'd been
waiting for. It looked big and strong and almost caught up
with the wave in front of it. I made a point to catch it,
and I thought everyone else would, too.
"I
caught the wave as it started breaking and it picked me up
very nicely, but unfortunately, it just rolled me around. I
was coming down fast, but I had no concern. I never dreamed
I would ever reach the bottom, nor did I ever dream I would
slam into the ocean floor."
The wave
drove him head first into the hard, wet sand. Miller said it
felt like someone had snuck up behind him and hit him with a
baseball bat. It surprised but didn't worry him.
"I've
been boogie boarding for more than 35 years," he said.
"I was thinking, 'Wow, I don't know if I want to go
catch another wave or go lay on the beach for a little while
before I come back in.' "
He let the
wave take him along underwater, knowing it would soon let
up.
"I was
simply going to stand up and see how I felt," he said.
"I went to move, and I was paralyzed. It absolutely
stunned me. One second, you're on top of the wave having
fun, and the next instant, you're paralyzed
underwater."
He didn't
panic, but said he did a quick assessment - who was closest
to him and who might see him. One daughter was about 30
yards away but had her back to him. His brother-in-law was
about 40 yards away, but should have caught the wave.
"If he
caught that wave, I knew I was in deep trouble," Miller
said. "I tried to move again and couldn't. I knew I was
in far deeper trouble than I ever dreamed. My breath was
low, I was alone and in dire straits. My options were to
hold my breath and pray that someone would get to me, or
somehow move, or, thirdly, to think of something else I
could do to help myself."
He managed to
roll on his back, "praying I would float to the
surface, take a breath and yell for help. I got teasingly
close, where that foam was, then another wave would come and
just bury me."
He rolled
back on his stomach and thought perhaps the waves would push
him into shallow enough water so he could roll over again,
or be seen.
"I was
going to give it every ounce I could to hold my breath. My
only real hope was of my brother-in-law or my daughter
seeing me. My biggest prayer was, 'Please, Phil, don't have
caught that wave.' Those last seconds, it was clearly me and
death, but I wasn't giving up. My last thought was, 'This is
how I'm going to die.'"
He doesn't
remember passing out, but he did.
"The
next thing I know, I was looking at a clear blue sky. I had
no idea how I'd gotten there, and I honestly believed I had
died. I thought I had crossed the line into death and I was
maybe in heaven. Then three faces popped over me; I had
never seen any one of them. I kind of wondered, who were
these people? I thought they were judging me, at first.
"One of
them said, 'Can you move anything?' As soon as he said that,
I heard the waves break. A flush came over me and I thought,
'My God, I'm alive. What happened?'"
INITIAL
RESCUE
His daughter
Jacqueline and Morino had seen him about the same time.
"I heard
my uncle yelling for help. I turned around and my dad was
floating facedown in the water," Jacqueline said.
"We started yelling, but no one heard us. We swam him
in. It took so long because he was so heavy with the wet
suit. We were trying to keep his head above the water, but I
didn't think he was breathing. Everyone started screaming
hysterically."
Including
Miller's wife, Leanne.
"I heard
hollering out in the water, but the sun was kind of low in
the sky and everyone looks about the same. The second time,
I knew something was wrong, and I immediately focused on my
brother. He and my daughter were pulling a body out of the
water. It was Fred.
"I
jumped in the water to help them bring him in. I thought he
was dead. His lips were blue. His skin was pasty-looking.
His eyes were open but glazed over. There was foam on his
lips; I thought it was from a convulsion, but it was foam
from the ocean.
"I was
yelling, 'Somebody's got to do CPR.' Luckily, nobody did. If
anyone had done it, he would be a quadriplegic today."
Miller was
unconscious and not breathing. Then_in one of what he calls
a series of miracles_a doctor happened to be jogging past
and stopped to help. He gently turned Miller on his side and
tapped his back; water poured out of his mouth and lungs,
Leanne said. A nurse walking on the beach appeared next and
found a pulse in his ankle. Alerted by a 911 call,
paramedics arrived, stabilized his neck and gave him oxygen
in the ambulance to help with his labored breathing. Theirs
were the first faces Miller saw.
When Miller
arrived at Arroyo Grande Community Hospital, his temperature
was 91 degrees. Even that was helpful, he learned later. The
cold controlled swelling around the spinal cord. Doctors
found he had a broken neck and sent him by ambulance to
Sierra Vista Regional Medical Center in San Luis Obispo,
about 20 minutes away.
The next day,
he had surgery to fuse two vertebrae, insert a rod and
remove a tiny piece of bone snuggled up against his spinal
cord. Dr. Phillip Kissel, a neurosurgeon, was leaving the
next day for three weeks in Peru. Miller counts the timing -
that the doctor was still there_among his "small
miracles" list.
Another was
what Kissel told him that next day. "He said, 'Fred, if
you were a younger man, 15 or 20 years ago, you would have
been a quadriplegic,'" Miller recalled. "I thought
that was a strange thing to say. He said when he did the
surgery, some arthritis had fused some of the vertebrae he
was operating on. So when I took that blow to the top of my
head, the arthritis that I've never felt strengthened my
vertebrae column to withstand that blow.
"It was
kind of a miracle that the spinal cord didn't sever anyway.
The bone that broke should have severed it. How lucky is
that? The natural demise of my own body saved me from a more
damaging injury."
The next day,
Miller could very slightly move one toe and some fingers, a
hopeful sign. But the big question remained: Would Miller
ever walk again? for the next few weeks, doctors and nurses
told the family they simply didn't know the answer.
WHEELCHAIR
FRATERNITY
After about
nine days in the intensive care unit, Miller was transferred
again, this time to Santa Clara Valley Medical Hospital,
which specializes in spinal cord rehabilitation.
"I could
wriggle my right foot, which was a glorious
realization," Miller said. "That gave me hope that
I would never be totally paralyzed.
"At one
point, I dragged my hand across my chest to my buttons and
said, 'Look; I can move my fingers.' No one had the heart to
tell me my fingers weren't moving - it was just my
hand."
His mobility
came back in baby steps, he said.
"I was
told not to look for improvement in days, but in weeks or
even months," Miller said. "I was in all kinds of
occupational therapy, physical therapy. It was a very slow
thing."
Between
exercises, he spent time visiting with other patients. A
year later, he still gets choked up when he talks about
those who didn't have his success.
"I was
the only spinal cord patient in the hospital at that time
who walked out on my own power," he said. "Much of
that was blind luck, and part of it was just a lot of
physical work. I'm extremely grateful for my struggle, to
have the opportunity to work hard and gain some results,
because a lot of people I was with don't have that.
"What
was amazing to me was how many young kids are in this
hospital with spinal cord injuries who aren't moving much of
anything and don't have the upside I do. Two boys were 16
and 18 from Northern California. I called us the North Coast
boys. Those kids are in shock. They've lost their lives. So
when you've lived three-fourths of your life and they've
lived one-quarter, I can sure understand survivor's guilt
and what some of our soldiers feel.
"I'm in
the fraternity of wheelchair people. There's a lot of
admirable strength I saw in a lot of people who have no
medical reason to hope they'll walk again and are facing
their life with dignity and strength."
BACK ON HIS
FEET
Miller said
that during the third week at the rehab hospital "I
made tremendous progress. My strength was coming back; my
balance was better. I had a miraculous recovery. Nurses who
had been there for 10 years said they'd never seen anything
like it."
Told he would
stay in the rehab unit for at least six weeks and go home in
a wheelchair, Miller was released in three and a half weeks,
a little more than six weeks after he broke his neck.
"I
thought I'd be in a wheelchair around the house, or at least
using a walker," Miller said. Instead, he was walking
under his own steam, although going up and down steps was a
problem for months. He said he's at about "90
percent" of his pre-accident ability. He isn't playing
his former weekly basketball games, but is golfing and doing
most other things.
He's back at
work with Stepping Stone Group in Modesto, Calif., where he
specializes in commercial property and land sales. After two
decades with Lapata Realty, Miller had been with Stepping
Stone for only two weeks before his accident. He said he's
grateful to his boss for sticking with him until he could
return to work.
And he has
learned a bunch of lessons from his near-fatal accident.
"Mortality
is right in front of my nose," Miller said. "I'm
looking at the balance of my life differently.
"Through
bad habits, I had used the Lord's name in vain, which I've
promised never to do again. And I've learned not to put off
telling people when I love or appreciate them, to be more
affirmative with people and not taking little things so
seriously."
He also has
stopped his previous focus on building wealth and wants to
produce just enough money for retirement and helping others.
"You
hear about so many people working until they retire and then
having some kind of debilitating stroke or heart
attack," he said. "I want to balance my life with
an exercise routine and travel, make more time for reading
and other hobbies. At some point, I'd like to give back to
the less fortunate. There's other rewards in life than cash
flow and equity. I could see myself maybe one day helping at
an orphanage in Africa."
It's not like
Miller is a stranger to giving back. He began The Realtor
Review in 2001, an annual concert by local entertainers at
the State Theatre that raises funds for community housing
and shelter programs for homeless families. The September
show has raised about $10,000 a year.
Last year, at
the event held less than two weeks after Miller returned
home, "I came out with a boogie board and a neck
brace," he said. It brought cheers and applause.
But the
Miller family isn't quite ready to bring the curtain down on
the terrifying experience. Leanne Miller recently canceled
their trip to Pismo this year, which the family books two
years in advance.
"They
didn't want to face the ocean again," Miller said.
"I'm fine with it. I would go back in. It wasn't the
ocean's fault. But I didn't go through the near death of a
family member, either."
CAUTION,
TERROR, THANKFULNESS
Besides
Miller's scar, there's another reminder of the accident, the
family dog is named Pismo. The Millers really don't need
reminders, though; they've learned their lessons and are
facing their fears.
"We all
walked down to the beach one day like we've been doing for
19 years. In a minute, everything changed," said Leanne
Miller. "You need to completely acknowledge the people
you love. They can be gone in a flash."
She said she
tries not to take small things - like walking - for granted
anymore. And the experience "has brought me closer to
my faith. It's all in God's hands."
But there
have been some negatives, too, after seeing her husband's
brush with death.
"I'm
more nervous about my three daughters and what they're
doing," she said. "One said, 'Every decision you
make can't be because of Dad's accident.' I said, 'Yes, but
I know now that things can happen to other people.' I feel
some of my security has been taken from me. I don't know
that I'll ever feel again that everything will be
fine."
Nichelle, the
Millers' oldest daughter, lives in New York. She flew out
after the accident and "held my hand for a solid
week," Fred Miller said. Earlier this month, she gave
birth to the Millers' first grandchild, a treasure no one in
the family takes for granted.
Jacqueline's
life also has changed. "I can't even describe the
terror I felt when I was bringing (my dad) in," she
said. "Even seeing my mom become hysterical was really
horrible, too. ... It took months before we realized he
would have a normal life back."
It's led her
to two very different emotions.
"It's
made me terrified now. You're living a completely normal
life and then everything does a 180 and you're in a
nightmare. I'm almost scared that something can happen again
to a family member. It kind of made me scared of death a
little bit."
A counselor
has helped with her fears and nightmares. And there is a
more positive impact: "It's made me extremely grateful.
As a teenager, we really do take our parents for granted.
Before the accident, it would be all my friends, my friends,
my friends, and I wouldn't be around the house much. Now,
it's made us all closer as a family."
As for her
dad, he'd like to find the doctor who stopped to help.
"I've
never known that gentleman's name or who he is," Miller
said. "I'd like to know that and thank him. He may have
saved me from paralysis."
And he's
grateful for the recovery he's made.
"I don't
have the strength or endurance that I had, but it's coming
back. I still have daylight ahead of me. I'm grateful for
that, and for the Lord to give me a chance, and for my
brother-in-law and daughter getting to me in time."
___
It's hard to
find statistics on the number of boogie board accidents each
year, but in 2002, the Medical Journal of Australia included
a report titled "Beware the boogie board: blunt
abdominal trauma from bodyboarding."
The report
said three teens seen at hospitals serving the beach
communities in Queensland were hurt - two injured their
livers and one had a lacerated spleen - in a one-year
period. All three hit the back end of their boards with the
front end catching on the ocean floor.
In the United
States, news reports show that boogie boarders have been
killed or injured in shark attacks and, in more rarely
reported incidents, in collisions with surfboards resulting
in spinal or other injuries requiring hospitalization.
As Modestan
Fred Miller describes, however, it's possible to boogie
board for decades without major injury.
Boogie
boarding was first seen in Hawaii in the late 1700s. Modern
boogie boards are 36 to 44inches long; the average size is
42 inches. Most boards are made of foam, with the high-end
ones made of propylene.
Boogie
boarders generally lie chest down on the board and catch
waves similar to surfers. While there is a professional
boogie boarding circuit, the ease of catching waves makes
the boards appealing to amateurs and children.