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Ultimate comfort food

March 3, 2008


Some visits home are harder than others. This last one was to say goodbye to my mom until I see her in heaven one day.

Times of grief and loss disrupt normal routines. My sisters and I slept less. We skipped meals. We drank more coffee.

Nutritional concerns flew out the window as other matters took precedence over grocery shopping and meal planning. Fortunately, we were blessed with family and friends who jumped into our lives to nourish us in numerous ways.

Food can indeed bring comfort in difficult times. My sisters and I - dazed from the loss of our mom - were thankful for the freshly baked cookies and hot coffee offered us as we sat down to make plans for her funeral.

Friends and family took care of us when we weren't particularly thinking about taking care of ourselves. This was the time, I discovered, to allow others to do that.

-My mom's dear friend, Eileen showed up with a roasted chicken, fresh fruit salad, and pastries.

-Bill and Adele brought essentials that we would need as our family gathered at my mother's house: breakfast muffins, a huge container of ground coffee, paper plates, cups, napkins, plastic ware ... and toilet paper.

-Mom's oldest friend, Joan arranged for a meat and cheese tray with fresh bread that was delivered to our house just as my uncle and cousins arrived from Ohio.

-Our cousins Jan and Joan sent a basket of fresh fruit, nuts, cheese, and crackers.

-Friends brought trays of cut up vegetables and dip, homemade lasagna and green chile enchiladas. Neighbors came by with cards and money to help with incidental expenses.

-On the day of mom's service, women from her church circle came to the house with every kind of food that will fit in a covered dish. They served and fed every hungry soul at our home that afternoon.

-Friends and their families I've known since childhood were there with food, flowers, and support.

-Maryanne - the angel neighbor God placed in my mom's life over the past several years - was always there, serving, cleaning and helping us get through.

The night before my mom's brother and my cousins headed back to Ohio, we went for one last round of New Mexican food. We laughed and told stories about our family. We ate the familiar fare of our upbringing. We had a margarita and "one more sopapilla" before heading back to the reality of life without my mom.

Mourning the loss of my mother has changed my perspective. Every single act of kindness honored her and nourished our family in a special way. We are eternally grateful.



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