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On nutrition: Belated 
April Fools' Day

April 7, 2008


April Fools! Even if you missed April 1, it's not too late to enjoy some not-so-serious nutrition humor. Here are some of the fun items forwarded to me this year:

Thought-provoking announcements found in church bulletins:

-"Potluck supper Sunday at 5 p.m. Prayer and medication to follow."

-"Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double door at the side entrance."

-"Join us for the Fasting and Prayer Conference. Meals are included."

-"Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones."

-"The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility."

-"The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday."

-This one continues to make me chuckle:

"Pillsbury Doughboy - beloved icon of the food industry - died yesterday of a yeast infection and traumatic complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 61.

"Pop N. Fresh - as he was lovingly known to his friends - was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of family members and celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker and Captain Crunch. Music was provided by the California Raisins.

"The grave site was piled high with flours. Dough's father, Pop Tart, delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. He was mixed up in his early years, but rose quickly in his career. He was not a very smart cookie, however, and his life was filled with turnovers. He wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes yet he never crumbled. Despite being a little flaky at times, he was considered a positive roll model for millions. Even as a crusty old man, he continued to rise in popularity.

"Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough. The couple had two children, John Dough and Jane Dough and they had one bun in the oven. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes."

-Mr. Jones was dangerously overweight so his doctor put him on a diet.

"I want you to eat sensibly for two days," his doctor instructed. "Then skip a day and repeat this procedure for two weeks. By your next appointment, you should have lost at least 5 pounds."

Mr. Johnson returned to his doctor two weeks later. He was shockingly thin and had lost nearly 20 pounds.

"This is amazing!" the doctor said. "Did you do this by following my instructions?"

Slim Mr. Jones nodded. "I'll tell you though, that third day I thought I was going to drop dead."

"From hunger?" asked the doctor.

"No," replied Mr. Jones. "From skipping."



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