who knows I love corny jokes ó especially those about food
ó sent this one to me: "What did the chick pea say when
it was sick?" PauseÖ "Falalfel."
time to pull out some of my favorite groaners from various
sources. Bear with me:
elderly couple had dinner at another coupleís house. After
eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, "We went to
a new restaurant last night that was really great. I would
recommend it highly."
the name of the restaurant?" the other man asked.
first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is
the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know
Ö .the one thatís red and has thorns."
mean a rose?"
thatís the one." He then turned towards the kitchen and
yelled, "Rose, whatís the name of that restaurant we
went to last night?"
asked the waiter, Is this milk fresh? He said, ĎLady, three
hours ago it was grass." (Phyllis Diller)
in a nutrition class were taking their mid-term exam. The last
question was to name seven advantages of motherís milk. One
student could think of only six: 1. It is the perfect formula
for infants; 2. It provides immunity against several diseases;
3. It is always the right temperature; 4. It is inexpensive;
5. It bonds the infant and mother; 6. It is always available
just before the bell rang, the student wrote in desperation:
7. It comes in two attractive containers that are high enough
off the ground so the cat canít get it.
pairing in the Stone Age: If it tries to eat us, serve with
red. If it runs away from us, serve with white.
older ladies meet at the market after not seeing one another
for some time. After inquiring about each otherís health,
one woman asks how the otherís husband is doing. "Oh,
Henry died last week! He went out to the garden to dig up
carrots for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped dead right
there in the middle of the vegetable patch!"
dear! Iím very sorry." replied her friend. "What
did you do?"
opened a can of peas instead."
a sign outside a liquor store: Donít forget to buy a bottle
of wine for Mom on Motherís Day. Remember Ö youíre the
reason she drinks.
avocado looks in the mirror and repeats this affirmation to
himself: "Youíre fat, but youíre good fat."
tale: Once upon a time, a prince asked a beautiful princess,
"Will you marry me?"
princess said "NO!"
prince rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and
played golf and drank beer and ate whatever he wanted and
lived happily ever after. The End.