argue and end up going their separate ways for many
different reasons. But money is one of the most common
sources of friction. More than one-third of adults who
have relationship stress said finances are the primary
cause, more so than annoying habits, according to a
survey by SunTrust Bank.
right: Your approach to finances ó spending, in
particular ó could be ruining your relationship. So if
you think he (or she) is just not that into you anymore,
maybe heís just not that into your spending habits.
SPEND TOO MUCH
recent GOBankingRates survey found that the top
financial deal breaker in a relationship is
overspending. The conflict often arises when one partner
thinks the other is spending money on something that isnít
of value and feels that spending is taking away from a
joint goal, said Renee Hanson, a private wealth advisor
with Ameriprise Financial.
key to preventing overspending from ruining your
relationship is communication, Hanson said. Create a
spending plan that covers your needs as a couple. Then,
make decisions jointly about things you want that arenít
part of the spending plan, she said.
HIDE YOUR SPENDING
might think youíre avoiding conflict with your partner
by hiding your spending, but you could be creating
bigger problems. For many people, being secretive about
finances is almost as big of a financial deal breaker in
relationships as overspending, the GOBankingRates survey
avoid causing a rift in your relationship, you need to
talk openly about your finances with your significant
other so he or she can trust you. But, itís OK if you
still want to maintain some financial independence.
should have their own money they donít have to account
for ó a Ďfuní account they donít have to
explain," said Emma Johnson, a veteran finance
journalist who blogs at WealthySingleMommy.com for
professional single moms. Just make sure itís an
agreed-upon amount if you and your partner have combined
HAVE A LOT OF DEBT
33 percent of those surveyed by GOBankingRates said that
having too much debt is at least one of their financial
deal breakers in a relationship. However, experts say itís
usually not the dollar amount of debt thatís the deal
breaker. "Itís the behavior that created the debt
thatís the deal breaker," said Hanson.
significant other might be worried that if you canít
control the spending that caused you to be in debt, you
wonít ever get out of debt ó which will prevent you
from achieving your joint financial goals. So, you have
to be willing to change that behavior to preserve your
relationship, Hanson said. And, come up with a plan to
pay off your debt.
not always overspending that can ruin a relationship.
Sometimes, not spending enough on your significant other
ó whether it be gifts, travel and other
"fun" things to do as a couple ó can be the
deal breaker. Nearly 20 percent of those surveyed by
GOBankingRates said that being too cheap is at least one
of their biggest financial deal breakers.
your tightwad ways are creating a problem in your
relationship, you should have a conversation with your
partner about why youíre reluctant to spend, Hanson
said. Discuss your money story ó what finances were
like in your family ó and your partnerís so you
understand how your background affects your mindset.
Then, agree on an amount to spend on "fun"
HAVE POOR CREDIT
your credit score is low because of your spending
habits, it might be doing more than just hurting your
ability to get a loan ó it might be hurting your
relationship. Of those surveyed by GOBankingRates, about
18 percent said that poor credit is one of their biggest
financial deal breakers in a relationship. And a Federal
Reserve Board study found that the greater the
difference in credit scores between two partners, the
greater the likelihood that theyíll separate.
of people have gotten dumped by a girl- or boyfriend who
doesnít want to get tangled in this mess,"
Johnson said. So if you have a lousy credit history, you
should explain to your significant other why, she said.
Then take steps ó such as paying down debt and making
on-time payments ó to boost your score.