Lots of things peaked in the '80s, from leg warmers to big hair. Vietnamese potbellied pigs also were "hot" 20 years ago, and, like Michael Jackson, they have faded, but persist beyond their heyday.

Indeed, there is a steady surplus of these pulchritudinous porcines, says Janice Skura of the Long Island Pot Bellied Pig Association, who runs the only rescue program for them in the metropolitan New York area.

"You would not believe the amount of pigs that are abandoned, abused, neglected and tossed out on a daily basis," says Skura. Many have behavioral problems incited by owners who underestimate these intelligent, sensitive animals.

THAT SMARTS

"Pigs have the intelligence of a toddler, and they get frustrated if they aren't mentally stimulated - they will find things to do on their own," Skura warns. Since pigs are not very agile, romps in the park are out (though they will walk nicely on harness). Instead, "they are more trick-oriented - that's what keeps them busy," from pushing balls to miniature bowling.

Paging Cesar Millan "They want to be top pig, and you have to let them know you are the boss," Skura advises. "If you let them get away with something once, they'll do it again because they're so smart."

HOW DO I LOVE THEE ...?

Skura ticks off the many things that potbellied pigs have to recommend them: "They have hair, not fur, so they are hypoallergic," she says. "They don't shed" - except for "blowing coat" for a week every summer - "they don't bark or chew, and they don't get fleas." And, despite their reputation for, well, pigginess, Skura says they are odor-free and easily potty-trained, happily using a dog door to do their business outdoors.

CAVEATS

Potbellied pigs "do need a fenced yard, they don't do stairs very well, and they don't make good apartment pets," she cautions.

GIMMICK ALERT

"There is no such thing as a 'teacup' or 'pocket pig,'" Skura snorts, warning potential owners about such unethical marketing tactics. Most pigs range from 50 to 150 pounds.

But that doesn't mean they should sport sumo-wrestler silhouettes. Krupa constantly has to rehabilitate "fat blind" pigs that are so obese folds of fat block their vision.

"It even affects their hearing, because the canals in their ears get compressed from the fat," she says. "And their bellies are so huge they rip them with their back hoofs when they walk."

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

Forget "slop" and table scraps: Skura says just a half-cup of specially formulated pig pellet food twice a day is ample sustenance. "An apple is a real treat," she adds. The rest of the time, expect your pigs to graze on your grass, not to mention your hostas.

COUCH OPTIONAL

"Pigs don't have to live in the house," Skura notes. "They can live outside if you make them a small wooden house, filled with straw, the lower to the ground the better, to keep heat in."

She encourages adopters to consider acquiring two at a time: Body heat keeps their quarters warmer in winter.

Crate expectations. "Pigs in a blanket" is a term to take literally. Skura stuffs dog-size airline crates with quilts and blankets, "and they bury themselves," she reports.

PIG IN A POKE

In many localities, potbellied pigs are considered domestic pets, not agricultural farm hogs destined for a dire gastronomic end. But Skura warns that some municipalities do not make the distinction, and potential owners should check zoning restrictions to make sure they can legally own them.

I WANT TO HELP

Find adoptable pigs all over the country by visiting pigplacementnetwork.com.

For local candidates, contact Skura at pigs4me@verizon.net.

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NOW SMILE PRETTY AND SAY WOOF!

An Australian shepherd as a lensman? At the very least, Cyrus, a 9-year-old canine photog from Missoula, Mont., will make you feel good about the quality of your own point-and-shoots. His work, featured at wetstinkydog.com, has been described as "distant, detached, nostalgic, gritty." (We would dare add: "out of focus.") Perhaps not surprisingly, he is currently at work on a project about cats.

FOR MALTESE FIDOS, THE STUFF DREAMS ARE MADE OF

They're the Thelma and Louise of canines, the Paris and Nicole of the play-bow set. Lulu and Lolly are two little Malteses with outsize attitudes - and a Web site that peddles T-shirts, cards and calendars promoting their fanciful travels. Part of the calendar proceeds benefits Maltese rescue. Go to luluandlolly.com.