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Ranch Road
337 between Bandera and Leakey, about 30 miles
west of San Antonio, is one of the most beautiful
drives in the Hill Country.
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BOERNE, Texas — On my
second day in the Texas Hill Country, a rolling patch of
scrubby green land in the central part of the state, I met
Gary Kirkham.
Kirkham, 62, is a lifelong
Texan with a soft accent and a quick, warm smile. Until
last year he had lived most of his adult life in gated
Dallas and Houston subdivisions. Then, looking to escape
the hubbub, he and his wife moved to New Braunfels, a town
of 53,000 at the southeast edge of the Hill Country that
is home to legendary Gruene Hall, a barnlike venue that
has drawn crooners ranging from Little Richard to Lyle
Lovett.
Soon after he moved,
Kirkham was shooting pool in a bar when a baby-faced,
honey-voiced country singer took the stage and started
strumming above the pool balls' clack and the drinkers'
twangy chatter. Kirkham realized that he was finally in
Texas. All those years in Dallas and Houston could have
been in New Jersey and Minnesota.
"I've always been
proud to be a Texan," Kirkham said. "But where I
live now feels like the real Texas."
The thing about the Hill
Country is this (and it is the Hill Country — leave off
the article, and you'll out yourself as a tourist or,
worse, a Yankee): Hang around long enough, and you'll find
Texas.
Being the nation's most
mythologized state comes with high expectations, which is
why Dallas and Houston have always seemed so uninspiring.
But in the Hill Country, you will find the heart of Texas
— boutiques and wineries, ranchers and barbecue, hiking
and swimming — and you will find it in the least likely
places.
The Hill Country also is
one of the state's most diverse patches: cowboys, yuppies,
tourists and people like Niki Bertrand, a 29-year-old
Austin resident whose arm tattoos, blond dreadlocks
half-dyed blue and face piercings make her quite a
spectacle in the rest of the state.
"In the Hill Country,
I can go to a good ol' boy bar and be right at home,"
Bertrand said. "I go to East Texas to visit my
brother, and no, no, no, I won't do it there. That's not
safe."
Nothing against East Texas
— or even West — but the Hill Country offers a Texas
you won't find elsewhere. During a week of 1,200
crisscrossed Hill Country miles — an area loosely
defined as west of Austin and north of San Antonio —
these are the moments of eating, strolling, dancing and
chatting up strangers where I could have been nowhere but
Texas.
Austin isn't exactly the
Hill Country, but it is at its edge, and if you get away
from the boozy college kids, the lawyers and the
politicians, this capital possesses much of what makes the
Hill Country sing. Like the Broken Spoke, a low-ceilinged
country music and dancing bar on the south side of town
that feels as though it could topple over any minute
(don't worry, it only adds to the charm).
On the Saturday night I was
there, regulars said they had never seen it so busy. And
the people were serious about being out that night. Cowboy
hats, jeans and boots in every direction. I was the only
person wearing a baseball cap. Such a dumb Yankee. But it
didn't matter.
A tap on the shoulder.
"Do you dance?"
She wore jeans and a
button-down shirt with a checkered pattern. Not, "Do
you want to dance?" But, "Do you dance?"
"Not very well,"
I said.
"That's OK."
And off we went, into the
twirling masses, pinballs bouncing off our fellow
revelers, guided by a full band and a stomping fiddle. I'm
pretty sure she led. When we finished, she said,
"You're not so bad." A nod, a smile and off to
the next cowboy.
In the North, asking
someone to dance could be code for trying to find a
partner to last until morning. Not here. At the Broken
Spoke, a stranger dances with a stranger and then another
stranger. When those strangers see each other the next
week, they do it again. And they keep doing it until
they're not strangers anymore; they're dancing partners at
the Broken Spoke. Newcomers always welcome.
Robert Patten, 62, an
insurance adjuster, goes at least twice a week to dance
with his roster of 20-plus women.
"I like dancing with
the same old girls," Patten said. "They know my
moves. I was dancing with Kim the other night, and I said,
'You could be on the other side of the room, and you'd
know what I'm going to do.' "
Best of all: "There's
no line dancing," Patten said. "We don't do that
here."
Every Texan knows the best
barbecue in the Hill Country. Only problem is, they all
have different answers. I took their advice as often as
possible, and I'm glad to say that the one who insisted I
go to Cooper's Old Time Pit Bar-B-Cue was right. Cooper's
is in Llano, a town of 3,200 indistinguishable from every
other town of its size in the Hill Country — except for
Cooper's, where my rental car was the only non-pickup in
the parking lot.
The experience is very
utilitarian. Before walking into the restaurant, you
peruse a brick pit of smoking meat: beef, pork, sausage,
chicken and goat (chewy, but hey, now I've eaten goat,
Texas barbecue style). With a sharp knife in one hand and
a long, two-pronged fork in the other, the man in the blue
apron stabs whatever former animal you point to, dips it
in a bucket of sauce and drops it directly onto an orange
cafeteria tray.
You bring the tray into the
restaurant to have the meat cut, pay (a lot) and eat at
one of the wooden picnic tables stocked with rolls of
paper towel and plastic jugs of jalapenos. The walls,
adorned with mounted deer heads, are cinder block, and the
floors cement. The operation is gloriously simple and the
meat gloriously glorious: succulent, fresh, peppery and
tender.
"It's far, but Texas
people like to come here," said Ray Ellis, 60, who
stopped during his six-hour drive home to Colorado City,
Texas, from Austin. "It's just classic. More
Texas-y."
As it turned out, the
second best barbecue I had was also in Llano County, 20
miles west, in Castell, a town of "five or six"
full-time residents, according to one of those five or six
people. Castell basically amounts to the Castell General
Store and the mailbox beside it, but every Saturday a few
locals and people in the know get together to cook up some
barbecue.
Much like Cooper's, you
order by pointing at the meat. And much like Cooper's, the
meat is delicious. But unlike Cooper's, you pay not by
weight but by eyeball: "Oh, that looks like about $8
worth," a worker will tell you. You're also pretty
much required to sit down and chat with the Wrangler- and
Carhartt-wearing locals. The afternoon I was there, that
crew included the local game warden and the sheriff's
deputy whose responsibility is the entire big-sky expanse
of western Llano County.
"The Hill Country is
as good as it gets," said store owner Randy Leifeste,
whose family has lived — and been buried — in Castell
for six generations.
There's no telling where or
when you'll find a memorable slice of the Hill Country. It
can seem as though you're miles from everything but the
beauty of the road, and then you find something like the
Devil's Backbone Tavern, a beer joint on the quiet,
twisting road that is one of the most revered drives in
the area, nicknamed the Devil's Backbone.
The bar has wood floors, a
wood ceiling, a wood bar and stone walls, a few
motorcycles parked out front on a weekday afternoon and a
pack of gray-haired men sitting in a swirl of their own
cigarette smoke just inside the front door. A Confederate
flag is tacked to the ceiling, the fancy beer costs $2.50
and the dilapidated barbecue shack out back actually does
serve brisket and ribs Thursdays through Saturdays. The
blond, denim-skirted bartender is the only woman in the
place, and it's unclear whether the sign on the front door
— "No loaded guns are allowed" — is a joke.
In short, it's priceless.
"This is a classic
old, old Hill Country bar," said Jamie Stirling, 59,
a regular who lives up the road. "There aren't too
many places like this anymore. This is a look back at what
used to be."
The next day, almost 50
miles due west, I happened through Waring, population 73.
Like any self-respecting Hill Country town, Waring might
not have much, but it has a general store, and I happened
to drive by it on a Wednesday night. My luck, because
that's the only night the Waring General Store is open to
the public. Even more my luck because Wednesday night is
"Steaknite."
For $20 you eat all you can
— grilled steak, salad, homemade quesadillas and
gorditas and banana pudding made by the owner's
91-year-old grandmother. And, of course, there is music:
that night, a swinging country band with a 12-year-old boy
on harmonica. I showed up with nothing to indicate that I
was a reporter. Notebook and camera both in the car. But
owner Jason Strange, 38, took such pity on a
solo-traveling Yankee, he threw his arm around my shoulder
and insisted I eat for free.
"I'm buying this guy
dinner!" he hollered to his staff.
I declined and told him why
I was there. He lit up, raised his hand and insisted,
"This right here, this is the Hill Country. This is
how we do it."
During the next few hours,
dozens of people filtered in, including several young
families. They ate, they danced. Then they ate a little
more. On a Wednesday.
One of the most popular
destinations in the Hill Country is Fredericksburg, a
handsome little town of quaint shops, quality restaurants
and surprisingly fine wineries. But most memorable was the
tiny town of Luckenbach, 10 miles southeast made famous by
Willie and Waylon and the boys.
The first thing to know
about Luckenbach is that it isn't actually a town. It was
a town with a dance hall, a general store, a school and a
post office, but the school closed in 1964 and the post
office in 1970. The general store and the dance hall
remain open, but they're privately owned. Which makes
Luckenbach one large music venue despite retaining the
flavor of a very small town.
There are plenty of large
shows at the dance hall, but even in off hours, music
usually is being played down at the general store.
Sometimes it's just one guy with a gray beard and an
acoustic guitar, playing his own brand of heartbroken
country. It's a wood-floored, wood-walled shack with
photos and bumper stickers everywhere ("Bob Wills Is
Still the King"). The locals wear baseball caps and
belt buckles the size of your fist. Only the tourists wear
cowboy hats.
Whoever is singing is known
to trade barbs with the regulars between songs. Jimmy Lee
Jones, playing that day, tells a member of the audience,
who also is a musician, "I missed your singing Monday
night, but I sure didn't miss seeing you do it."
"Tell you what,"
the man replies. "When you come see me play, turn
your back. You'll be doing us both a favor. Ha, ha, ha,
ha, ha! Get it?"
Jimmy Lee got it. Then he
sang "Shut Up and Drink Your Beer."
Which is exactly what
Luckenbach is perfect for. Shutting up, listening to the
music and drinking your beer. The place is so leisurely,
it feels as though you've stumbled into some glorious
pre-cell-phone world.
Though it sits just outside
the Hill Country, I would be remiss not to mention the
nation's seventh largest city. Like Austin, I went to San
Antonio looking for traces of the Hill Country, figuring
it couldn't help but absorb some flavor.
I was immediately convinced
I had been wrong. It's far more Tejano (that's Mexican
Texan) than Hill Country, which you can see on the menus
and on the streets. After stops at the Blue Star brew pub
and neighboring La Tuna restaurant — both worth your
time for good, affordable beer and good, affordable food
— I found myself in B and D Ice House. It's a dim bar
the size of a shoe box that has been around since 1960 and
has a regular cast of devotees. It's open Friday and
Saturday nights only.
As I arrived, the evening's
entertainment, a singer named Eddie, was taking a break.
He handed me his guitar and asked if I played.
"Sort of," I
said.
He encouraged me to play a
few songs, and the nine people there, several in red B and
D T-shirts, clapped encouragement. I took a seat on a
stool against the far wall and did the best I could
through that immortal '70s hit "Afternoon
Delight" and a Buddy Holly song called "Crying,
Waiting, Hoping." They're both very easy to play.
It was my first time
playing for a crowd, and I was awful. But those nine
people didn't care. They drank their Lone Star beer from
bottles, clapped and made sure I got one of those T-shirts
when I left.
If that isn't Texas, I
don't know what is.
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