I love to watch the action unfold, as wedding guests pick and choose gifts and the registries are updated. I love the suspense - will the happy couple receive their cookware? And I love being able to spy on someone else’s life and style without being called a stalker!

I read and monitor the registries of friends for altruistic reasons, of course, but I also keep track of registries belonging to couples I don’t much care for, and to whose weddings I’m not invited because, well, I’m nosy. And also because registries - especially if they’re full of really expensive or gaudy items, or if they’re multiple pages long - make for great gossip.

But most, most, most of all, I enjoy reading the bridal registries of celebrities, many of which appear on www.weddingchannel.com, a Web site that covers all things wedding and has links to registries at a variety of stores.

I have no shame.

I get a kick out of knowing that actress Alicia Silverstone (‘‘Clueless’’), who married her long-time boyfriend, Christopher Jarecki, lead singer for the band S.T.U.N., on June 11, got all the Vera Wang toasting flutes ($75 each) on her Macy’s registry but still wants four dinner plates from Neiman Marcus.

The best registries I’ve come across have Paris Hilton’s name on them.

Paris Hilton registered at Target, where she has a Rejuvenique Facial Toning System on her list.

Of course it makes no sense. Paris is rich. Odds are she has a professional facialist of her own. The registry didn’t ring true. Later I read that poor Paris has been the subject of several Internet registry hoaxes.

Which brings me to my point: You can tell a whole lot about a couple by its bridal registry, including some things you’re better off not knowing. Do I really want to know that the bride and groom plan to sleep on red satin sheets?

You can tell about the dynamics of a marriage, too. Say she likes traditional and he likes modern. A registry full of traditional stuff? She’s the boss. A registry full of modern? He’s the boss.

Some say it’s fine to ask for expensive stuff if you’re in the sort of socio-economic circles where people may actually buy it. But I think people who register for really expensive items have an opinion of themselves that is way too high.

I understand the purpose of registries. I understand that they’re supposed to make giving easier for wedding guests.

Except they don’t always work that way.

Allow me to help with some of the many vexing questions ...

Question: Is it rude to include information on a wedding registry with the wedding invitation?

Answer: Yes.

Q: Do I have to choose a gift from the registry?

A: No. As the gift-giver, you get to decide what to give. Still, the couple picked the registry items so you know you’re giving them something they want.

If giving from the registry makes you feel uncreative, add something to make the gift more personal. Give four wine glasses you know they want - and a bottle of their favorite sparkling water or wine.

Q: How much do I have to spend?

A: Use your relationship as your guide.

If you like the happy couple, spend a lot. If you’re attending the wedding as a social or family obligation, spend less. I think it’s rude to give something valued at less than $50 - which is different than spending $50; if you find a $50 item marked down to $20, you’ve met your requirement.

Meanwhile, according to a survey of 15,000 brides and newlyweds for www.theknot.com and Kohl’s, you should spend $50 to $75 on a co-worker, distant relative or family friend to whom you’re not close. If you’re attending the wedding of a friend or relative, spend between $75 and $100. And if you’re attending the wedding of a best friend, spend at least $100.

According to Rosanna McCollough, weddingchannel.com editor-in-chief, most wedding guests spend between $100 and $150 a couple.

Q: Do I have a year to fork over a gift?

A: I think it’s perfectly fine to send the gift within a year, because most people think that’s the rule. Etiquette experts say you should send the gift in time for the wedding; if you can’t make that deadline, send it within three months.

Q: Should I take the gift to the wedding itself?

A: No. Mail it.

Q: Anything else?

A: Toast the happy couple.